His Purpose

With the imminent change of moving....I chose to quit my job as a Speech Pathologist in the Fort Osage School District.  This was graciously accepted by the School Board and I officially became unemployed at the end of the first semester.  This was a difficult decision that we knew would result in the loss of our second income (note:  We had just purchased a second house in Colorado), but it would allow me to focus on being "Mom" and meeting the needs of our five children during this time of transition.  May I also mention that my sanity was in grave danger!  I LOVED my school, my co-workers and especially the students that I worked with.  Little did I know that it would just be the beginning of the painful changes that were to come.  Much to my relief, I was replaced quickly.  A new Speech Pathologist was located and hired.  She is doing well, I am told.  Parts of me miss the "being needed" part of a full-time job.  Other parts of me can't imagine how I managed to keep it together for those two and a half months at which time Bob had moved out to start his job and I was here with the kids - working and holding down the household.  How did I ever get the grocery shopping done?

"Ok - get to the point, woman!" - you may be thinking....

This brings me to the theme proposed in the Title of this post:  His Purpose.  As I mentioned in my previous post, God has been stirring things up a bit and has allowed us to see a bit of what He has planned.  What I had been particularly struggling with was the fact that Bob had found his dream job - rather, his dream company.  He had been eyeing Compassion International for some time.  He had even applied for other positions, but this was the position that the Lord had in mind and this was the timing He had in mind as well.  So, Bob is where he is supposed to be, doing what he is supposed to be doing, and ... we are along for the ride?  I didn't believe that for a minute.  BUT, I did wonder what was in store for us, for me.  I struggled with and prayed about whether or not God wanted me to continue to work as a Speech Pathologist or move on to something else.  Ultimately, I wanted to be where HE wanted me to be and do what HE wanted me to do.

[Enter Noonday Collection]

I was reading the Facebook post of an acquaintance of mine.  A woman I GREATLY admire.  She mentioned a recently formed company called "Noonday Collection".  Through the format of Trunk Shows in people's homes, they sell Fair Trade items made by individuals from all over the world; individuals that are marginalized due to disease or in situations of poverty.  By representing these artists and selling their creations, these individuals can make a modest (very modest) living which in turn allows them to feed their families, get an education for their children, and potentially employ others in their community.  I was hooked!  I immediately began praying, "Lord, is this it?"  It hit all of the high points in my dream job.  I talked to friends about Noonday, I called Bob and told him to start praying that I would have clear direction about this.  I contacted the owner and asked to be considered as an Ambassador for Noonday Collection.  I had talked to so many people about this company and I hadn't even had an interview yet!  My enthusiasm was growing.  I had three people commit to hosting a Trunk Show before I ever formally submitted an application!  Time passes, interviews are held, I am offered the opportunity to become a Noonday Ambassador, I accept, I commit.  To what?  I commit to represent these artists, to tell their story, to educate my community about the oppression of others, to change lives, to follow His direction.

The jury is still out on the Speech thing.  I may continue it on a part time basis, But my heart is Noonday.  My heart is in telling people that God loves them and that they can make a difference.  Check out my website:  http://audrakoning.noondaycollection.com.  God is making a difference in my life and I am paying it forward.  And, if you are so inclined to have a show, contact me.  My info is on the website.  Blessings!

A new start

I was chatting with a friend last night on Facebook and it hit me.... In about 8 weeks, we will be relocating to Colorado Springs.  I will no longer be geographically close to her... that started the "waterworks".  I'm not going to lie, it will be fabulous to live in Colorado Springs, but I will miss so many people here.  I am like a 40 year old tree being uprooted.  I was born and raised in Independence.  I went away to college, got married, and returned to raise our family.  Much of my family lives here.  We LOVE our church!  We have so many connections and they are being re-routed from physical connection to wireless!  It is a painful experience.  Most of the time, I am caught up in the daily grind, but being the sole adult in a house of six people and a dog has been taxing.  Being 600 miles away from my Man, has been a long, lonely experience.  I miss him and we are ready to be all together again.  One of our kids is having a bit of an emotional time with the changes that are coming.  His tendency is to withdraw and avoid the painful reminders, but the pain is still there.  We are all learning to cope with change, loss, unfamiliar territory, pain, and the dichotomy of wanting to be in two places at once.  


How do we go on?  Five months ago, when we started this leg of our journey, I was confident in my declarations:  "God is in control.  He knows more than I do.  His ways are higher than our ways.  He has a plan for us - a plan to prosper us and not to harm us.  He will never leave us or forsake us.  He goes before us."  I said them loud and proud.  After all, He started this.  He will not forget us or abandon us.  However, with the realization that this is REALLY happening and SOON, my voice is becoming shaky.  My confidence is wavering - not in God, but rather in me.  In this realization, I am reminded that I am faltering because I am trying to stand on my own.  Did I really believe all those things I was saying five months ago?  Absolutely!  And in some ways, I think I believed them more - somehow.  In NOT knowing all of the details, I found it easier to trust God to take care of it all.  It was such an immense undertaking and new turf for me, that I knew I couldn't take control or ownership of the details.  Frankly, I didn't want the responsibility.  I was much more comfortable letting God take the fall for the pain.  After all, He orchestrated this!  I still believe all that I said, way back then, but now my heart has to get out of the way and let His word speak to me.  


As I am typing this, Air1 radio station is playing a song by Group 1 Crew titled "He said".  The lyrics take me back to the foundation of my faith.  God, in His Word, made promises.  He is the ultimate Promise Keeper.  He is integrity embodied.  He never breaks His Word!  Read through these promises with me:


So your life feels like it don't make sense
And you think to yourself, "I'm a good person,
So why do these things keep happening? "
Why you gotta deal with them
You may be knocked down now, but don't forget
What He said, He said

"I won't give you more
More than you can take
And I might let you bend
But I won't let you break
And know, I'll never, ever let you go"
Don't you forget what He said
Don't you forget what He said, He said

Who you are, ain't what you're going through
So don't let it get the best of you
'Cause God knows everything you need
So you ain't gotta worry
You may be knocked down now, but just believe what He said

He said "I won't give you more
More than you can take
And I might let you bend
But I won't let you break
And know I'll never ever let you go"
Don't you forget what He said

Don't fear when you go through the fire
Hang on when it's down to the wire
Stand tall and remember what He said

"I won't give you more
More than you can take
And I might let you bend
But I won't let you break"

"I won't give you more
More than you can take
And I might let you bend
But I won't let you break
And know I'll never ever let you go"
Don't you forget what He said

Don't you forget what He said.

"All you need to remember is that God will never let you down; He'll never let you be pushed past your limit" (The Message Version) The rest of the Scripture that this comes from is an important component:  "He'll always be there to help you come through it."  1 Corinthians 10:13 (The Message Version).  The key is that HE will be there to HELP ME!  I don't have to stand up on my own.  I need to hold onto Him.  He will give me the strength necessary.  

A few days ago I read some very applicable and poignant points from a friend as she was sharing parts of her daily devotional.  Her point was that it matters that you are following Jesus (claiming to be a believer), but it matters more how closely you follow Him.  This world is fraught with teeming masses that blur our vision and line of sight with our Messiah.  If I am following at a distance, not taking time to connect with Him, read His Word, commune with Him, I will get lost!  I must follow closely!  I cannot put it on Cruise Control and expect to get to the destination that He has in mind.  And as I stated before, His ways are higher than my ways, HE has a plan and I should follow it ~ closely!  

He has been so faithful and generous to allow us a glimpse of things to come ~ ways that He is providing for us: emotionally and physically.  Thank you God ~ for your love and provision.  Thank you for knowing what I need before I need it.  Thank you, Jesus, for coming to die on a treacherous cross... so "that I might have life, and have it abundantly!" (John 10:10).  I long for the abundant life, not a dull, predictable, routine; rather one that is full of YOU, full of divine events and excitement!  Thank you Jesus!

As we close out on this geographical location.... leaving this area.... moving west, I pray that I will follow Him closely.  I want to follow so closely that I am ticketed for tailgating!!!  I pray that in the midst of change and all that comes with it, I will trust Him and follow His ways to the abundant life that He has planned!

Pikes Peak, Colorado Springs, Colorado

And if you are in the area - stop  by.  This is the view I get every day!  One great BIG reminder of His Majesty!  

Show Hope!

The things they say...

We were reading a book and in the story the dog gets sick. 


The text goes like this: 


     "What's wrong with him?" I ask. 

     "He ate too much," says Dad. "Someone overfilled his food dish."

At that point, in all seriousness Nardos says, "Wasn't me!"

Now that's what I call getting caught up in the story!

You know you are a Mother when...

I found this poem (in myriad of "stuff" I am unearthing in my house!).  I hope you enjoy it!

You Know You Are a Mother When…

• You count the sprinkles on each kid’s cupcake to make sure they are equal.
• You hide in the bathroom to be alone.
• Your kid throws up and you catch it.
• Someone else’s kid throws up at a party.  You keep eating.
• You consider finger paints to be a controlled substance.
• You’ve mastered the art of placing large quantities of pancakes and eggs on a plate without anything touching.
• You cling to the high moral ground on toy weapons; your child chews his toast into the shape of a gun.
• You hope ketchup is a vegetable, since it’s the only one your child eats.
• You find yourself cutting your husband’s sandwiches into cute shapes.
• You hear your mother’s voice coming out of your mouth when you say, “NOT in your good clothes.”
• You stop criticizing the way your mother raised you.
• You say, at least once a day, I’m not cut out for this job,” but you know you wouldn’t trade it for anything.

-- Author Unknown

Endurance

In all situations, there will be blessings and trials. That's the nature of being human. What sets one event from another can boil down to where you put your focus. I choose to focus on the blessings. Sure I see the trials, and sometimes I even shift my gaze to them, but in the end, I have to take my head and turn it intentionally to the blessings. Some might say that I am not realistic...but aren't blessings a reality too? In fact, I find that focusing on the blessings is a much nicer way to go about my day. It feels better, it is brighter, in the end, I sleep better! So, my glasses may be rose colored, but I like my view -- blessings!

Filling in the blanks

So, Bob was reading our blog... because you never know what I might put out there :) and he realized that there was a major gap in my flow.  I will try to summarize:

In October, Bob interviewed for and was offered a job with Compassion International.  It is a non-profit company that is focused on obliterating poverty! (my word choice)  We prayed about this long and hard.  We knew that accepting the position would also mean moving to Colorado Springs, Colorado.  Complicating factors:  I have 40 years of roots here in Missouri, mostly in Independence.  Bob moved a number of times as a child and his passion for the work that Compassion International does was deep.  In fact, we have been involved with Compassion for almost 10 years - we sponsor a young man who lives in Indonesia.  He communicate with him often and have been blessed by being connected to him.  So, we decided that WE were not in a position to clearly discern direction considering our deep emotions over a move.  At that point, I told Bob, "God can clearly raise the dead and has performed numerous (understatement) other miracles....then surely He can offer a job or block the offer ~ according to His will."  That is where we left it, in God's hands.  Bob was offered the job, by God.  That's truly how we see it.

So, In late October, Bob began his position with Compassion International ~ something to do with application support...computer stuff.  The company is amazing.  Very faith and family oriented.  We made a number of decisions.  We didn't want to transition the kids to new schools and such in the middle of the year, so that meant I would be "single" mom for the remainder of the school year.  If we could find a house, a mortgage payment would be almost identical to a short-term rental and a house would give us a place to crash when we go out for our visits (Christmas and Spring Break).  So, at the end of October, we also drove out - yes, all seven of us - and went house hunting.  One of Bob's new coworkers gave us the name of a Realtor.  He is amazing!  In our one day of looking at houses, we saw 13!  The turning point really was at lunch.  Our Realtor, Bryan, was checking his phone and said, "Do you want to add one more house to the list???  It just went on the market today and is bank-owned which means it is priced to sell and will go fast...but it fits what you are looking for and in the right area."  LONG story short.... we went to see the house and fell in love!  It is exactly what we need!  That is what the house pictures in the previous post are all about.

So, this Wednesday, we close on the house.  Bob was home for a week for Thanksgiving and headed out this morning with a 24 foot Budget truck filled to the gills with what he will need to live at the house for the next 6 months (as well as all the stuff we decided we could get out of the house so that it shows better).  He made it safely to Colorado Springs in good time and most importantly, in one piece.  All day today I have prayed, "God, please get him there safely with no surprises!"  And He did.

In the midst of all of this, one other major decision was reached.  I have found that I am unable to be a full-time working, single-mom of five kids...and get a house ready to sell.  So, I made the difficult decision to quit my position at the school at semester.  Now, I can just focus on being Mom, getting the house ready and KEEPING it ready!

So, there it is.  The last few months....so many blessings, so many tears, but always trusting God that he DOES know more than me!  :)

House pictures

This was our favorite house that we saw.  We won't know for a few days if our offer was accepted.  Here's hoping!

office-ish area in kitchen

dining area and sitting area near front door.  levi sacked out on the floor.

family room in the basement where there are three large rooms for the kids and a full bath.

view from dining area near front door - toward the fireplace sitting room.  kitchen is on the other side of the wall near levi's feet.

front door and sitting area.

front of the house.

kitchen - as seen from fireplace sitting area.

fireplace sitting area and kitchen as seen from hallway leading to office, spare room, master bedroom, laundry and another full bath.

master bath

neighborhood

three car garage!

Is God Enough?

Several friends of mine have been through difficult times.  We have had a few of our own.  This theme has been buzzing in my heart lately, "Is God Enough?"  I was struggling with a certain topic ~ which is actually irrelevant since the theme keeps popping up regardless of the topic ~ and I was literally listing the reasons to God why I believed that MY plan was the best option.  Very clearly, I heard in my heart, "Am I NOT enough???"  It stopped me in my tracks.

On good days, I find myself pretty comfortable in my plans, my ways, my priorities.  So, it is natural for me, when facing a challenge, to try the same approach.  Tough times, hard times, times that stretch me, I look for my plan and use my own priorities to find a light at the end of the tunnel.  All the time, trying to stand it up next to God's plan and then justifying the heck out of it to try to make it match.  I fail every time.  The reality is that tough time or not, I really need to focus myself on His Plan, His Priorities, His Ways.  "His ways are higher than our ways" all the time, not just the tough-to-figure-out ones.  Not just the confusing ones.  In fact, if I spend my efforts looking for His Ways, I will have more time to rest in His hands.  It's like finding out that instead of washing clothes by hand in a river, you discover that there is an all in one washer/dryer that even folds your clothes.  I labor so hard to try to make my way work and all the time, God is saying, "If you will just listen to me, this will go so much more smoothly."

One thing that I find both loving and frustrating about God is that He waits for me to see it.  Loving because he doesn't impose His will on me, frustrating because sometimes I would like Him to put it in an email and send me the directions!  Just tell me what to do!  So, my daily thought is to look for His Plan.

Audra