My Mom used to say, “ You should be
able to throw away the first child and start over.” She didn’t
mean it LITERALLY! She was referring to the fact that with your
first child you are learning as you go and when the next child(ren)
comes along, you are more prepared. Rest assured, our oldest child
is alive and well and on his way to adulthood. However, we have
found that we have learned a lot over the last (almost) seventeen
years of parenting.
I am a mother of five children (three
homegrown, two born of my heart). Bob and I got married
young-ish (barely into our 20th year of life!) and wanted
to have children fairly fast. We waited three years, but felt
strongly that we wanted our children to be born soon enough to really
KNOW our parents and to have a strong relationship with them. So,
child number one, our oldest son, was born and we started this thing
called parenting. He ruled the roost. Not literally, we had
boundaries, but I wish we had been more intentional about the
teaching part, the training. The only REAL training we did was potty
training! We were not necessarily permissive, just very flexible.
Fast forward to five kids. Over time
we have come to see our role as parents as our divine calling. For
this season in our lives, our highest priority is to raise our
children. What’s on the list of lessons?? We have determined that
our children will leave our home (rumor is that this happens
eventually) with some specific character traits and abilities. They
will have a knowledge of God and hopefully a relationship with Him.
They will be people of integrity, able to live independently and be
employable. They will know how to: plan, shop for, and prepare a
balanced meal, make a bed, do their own laundry, clean a bathroom and
run a vacuum, compromise when necessary, make an apology, serve
others, show compassion, be thankful, be content, and stand up for
what is right.
How in the world, in the busy-ness of
life, do we get this done? It is a daily effort. We don’t sit
down and have lectures or lessons, but it is acted out in our every
breath. We demonstrate through real-life opportunities. Every
Saturday, the kids clean the house. They have come to the point that
they divide it up cooperatively (believe me it didn’t start so
congenially!) and get the job done. They each have a day of the
week (convenient with five kids) that is THEIR day. On their day,
they do their laundry, set the dinner table and say the prayer at
dinner. After dinner, the rest of the kids clear the table. With
five kids, you can imagine that some topics get more attention than
others… like apologizing! One situation that can be difficult to
teach/demonstrate is saying sorry for something you don’t think you
did wrong. For example, Kid #1 makes a playful remark that Kid #2
isn’t in the mood to receive and therefore is offended… Kid #1
didn’t intend for the comment to be mean! Kid#2 shouldn’t be so
sensitive. Perceptions. Teaching Kid#1 to say “sorry you were
offended by my comment, I didn’t mean it to sound like that” is
TOUGH! However, this is a valuable skill. This skill alone will
mend broken relationships throughout his/her life!
I suppose the TAKE AWAY from this is
that as parents, we have a great BIG job! We have to make MAXIMUM
impact in a relatively SHORT amount of time. My suggestion… if you
are asking…
S L O W D O W N ....
Be LESS busy. Pull out of some activities
(your and the kids’) that are complicating your schedule so that
you have the availability to take advantage of opportunities.
The
moments are there to have that MAXIMUM impact, don’t let them pass
you by.
God Bless,
Audra
**Thanks to McCall for the opportunity to be linked up! She is a fellow World Changer and I just love her!**
**Thanks to McCall for the opportunity to be linked up! She is a fellow World Changer and I just love her!**
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